Preacher from the East

I often listen to the Christian station when driving in in the morning. It's an insight into another world, one that I find way more interesting than competitions, phone-ins, traffic reports and sanitised D.J. humour. Usually I catch a lengthy sermon syndicated from an American broadcaster. Today's was by one John MacArthur, whom the station chatted to afterwards. The slightly overawed tones of the interviewer suggested that he is apparently quite prolific, perhaps even a big noise in the business. He has the slight drawl, the easy authoritative metre and the odd pauses so characteristic of a lot of the pulpiteers on this particular show. I'm almost certain that he has a winning smile, perfect teeth and immaculate hair.

John's lesson today was that we must not trust Philosophy. Capital 'P', because it's the entire discipline scheduled to be jettisoned. Not just Socrates, Plato and all those pagan Atheneans, who could be excused for being lauded as early luminaries now sadly and completely discredited by the comparatively more modern teachings of the scriptures. Luckily for those of us who might otherwise be taken in by several thousand years of the considered and debated thoughts of some of history's finest minds, John has since revealed that all their conjecturing was merely "infantile musings". You see, we all exist in a box, and are arrogant to even presume to speculate beyond it limits. Our only knowledge of the outside can come from the penetration of God into the box. He has condescended to give us the scriptures as our only insight into the larger workings of the universe. I forget his exact words, but John used "retarded" to describe the pathetic attempts of our keenest intellectuals to breach this box. How silly of said intellectuals to waste their time in self-indulgent critical enquiry when all the knowledge we can ever hope to gain about the cosmos has been in plain view in the scriptures all along. That's good old rebellious human nature for you - resisting proscription to the last and always trying to push the outside of the envelope, even if God - and John - have told them they can't.

Alas, John, progress progresses inexorably, your patronising chastisement notwithstanding. We've been "thinking outside the box", since even before the Renaissance and Reformation made it okay to do so without getting burnt at the stake for entertaining infantile musings. Not everyone is blinded by the light.