Off on a Comet
"Ka-bam!" went Comet McNaught as it appeared majestically in the southern skies over the Atlantic.
"Oooo...! went the assembled throng on Kloof Nek.
"Ecki, ecki, ecki!" went Comet McNaught as it bounced up and down waving its tail.
Okay, not all of that happened, but that was gist of it. The most splendid comet in forty years had arrived, and was quite unexpectedly brilliant. J-Man, being a bit of an amateur astronomer, was in heaven, dropping authoritative-sounding comments about degrees of arc, Kuiper Belts, Oort Clouds, aphelions and Solar winds. Occasionally he would cast an annoyed glance at someone further up the road who had brought an even bigger telescope, but fortunately such was the magnificence of the comet, that the scopes were largely unnecessary.
We gazed in wonder as the horizon darkened and the full glory of the tail started to emerge. A car drove by and a woman stuck her head out to ask what we were all looking at. When told, she said: "Oh, I thought it was something important," and drove off. Another girl confided that she thought it was something that was going to hit the earth, but then saw everyone was smiling and so realised it was safe. In a slightly scary demonstration of terra-centricity, I heard someone mention that it was at about the same height in the sky as "that other star", thereby blanketly elevating McNaught (comet) and Venus (planet) to stellar status.
Two evenings later we were back, and now there were hundreds of people lining the top of Camps Bay Drive. The atmosphere was borderline festive. This time J-Man had the biggest telescope, and so by the unwritten laws of amateur astronomy, he was the Alpha Astronomer, and all the regular folk gravitated toward him to admire his scope and ask questions that ranged from vaguely intelligent through charmingly naive to massively ignorant. I lost count of the number of times he explained what a comet actually was, that it wasn't as big as the moon, that it wasn't going to hit us, etc., etc. By the end of the evening, his girlfriend, Col, had become an expert too, and was able to handle the Frequently Asked Questions while J-Man fussed over the optics and looked important.
Col and I thought to make some money next week up on Kloof Nek reading tarot cards, selling comet-crystals and interpreting auras. As a grande finale we may even feature a Celebrity Astrologer Deathmatch. J-Man will wear a lab-coat and bow-tie and give short presentations to anyone who's shelled out R250 for one of our comet-hats. Yasmo, or someone similarly disreputable-looking, would be hired to walk around with an "End is Nigh" sign to add credence to the whole thing.
It's a little sad to me how generally uninformed people are of things beyond our atmosphere. We live in two dimensions, never looking up. When we give any thought to the time and space beyond, it is to trivialise it with astrology or alien abductions or bad sci-fi. If life was discovered on Titan or Europa or Enceladus, how many people would know or even care what or where those completely fascinating objects are?
"Ni!" went Comet McNaught, and swung off hyperbolically into the night.
"Oooo...! went the assembled throng on Kloof Nek.
"Ecki, ecki, ecki!" went Comet McNaught as it bounced up and down waving its tail.
Okay, not all of that happened, but that was gist of it. The most splendid comet in forty years had arrived, and was quite unexpectedly brilliant. J-Man, being a bit of an amateur astronomer, was in heaven, dropping authoritative-sounding comments about degrees of arc, Kuiper Belts, Oort Clouds, aphelions and Solar winds. Occasionally he would cast an annoyed glance at someone further up the road who had brought an even bigger telescope, but fortunately such was the magnificence of the comet, that the scopes were largely unnecessary.
We gazed in wonder as the horizon darkened and the full glory of the tail started to emerge. A car drove by and a woman stuck her head out to ask what we were all looking at. When told, she said: "Oh, I thought it was something important," and drove off. Another girl confided that she thought it was something that was going to hit the earth, but then saw everyone was smiling and so realised it was safe. In a slightly scary demonstration of terra-centricity, I heard someone mention that it was at about the same height in the sky as "that other star", thereby blanketly elevating McNaught (comet) and Venus (planet) to stellar status.
Two evenings later we were back, and now there were hundreds of people lining the top of Camps Bay Drive. The atmosphere was borderline festive. This time J-Man had the biggest telescope, and so by the unwritten laws of amateur astronomy, he was the Alpha Astronomer, and all the regular folk gravitated toward him to admire his scope and ask questions that ranged from vaguely intelligent through charmingly naive to massively ignorant. I lost count of the number of times he explained what a comet actually was, that it wasn't as big as the moon, that it wasn't going to hit us, etc., etc. By the end of the evening, his girlfriend, Col, had become an expert too, and was able to handle the Frequently Asked Questions while J-Man fussed over the optics and looked important.
Col and I thought to make some money next week up on Kloof Nek reading tarot cards, selling comet-crystals and interpreting auras. As a grande finale we may even feature a Celebrity Astrologer Deathmatch. J-Man will wear a lab-coat and bow-tie and give short presentations to anyone who's shelled out R250 for one of our comet-hats. Yasmo, or someone similarly disreputable-looking, would be hired to walk around with an "End is Nigh" sign to add credence to the whole thing.
It's a little sad to me how generally uninformed people are of things beyond our atmosphere. We live in two dimensions, never looking up. When we give any thought to the time and space beyond, it is to trivialise it with astrology or alien abductions or bad sci-fi. If life was discovered on Titan or Europa or Enceladus, how many people would know or even care what or where those completely fascinating objects are?
"Ni!" went Comet McNaught, and swung off hyperbolically into the night.
posted by Thor Harley at 7:50 am
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