Axis Denied

Robert Mugabe (president-dictator of Zimbabwe) phoned me up the other day demanding admission to my new Axis, citing overwhelming evidence that he is the most mind-numbingly bone-headed, syphilitic, tin-pot autocrat in Africa, if not the world.

"Bob," said I with a sigh, "Although I agree that you are a first-class baboon, and should be consigned to a tree, I cannot let you in, as Axes in general are only allowed to have three members, and mine is full of thoroughly deservant individuals as it is. Plus, you're not denying anything in particular; you're just a complete penis."

And I sent him a nice bunch of bananas to cheer him up, which he wielded happily as he scampered off to brutally crush another peaceful demonstration.