Squaaak Attack

Sometimes the combination of a desultory afternoon's coding, too much coffee, too little sleep and a splendidly dreamy view out the office window of container ships meandering lazily about the bay in the Spring sunshine can induce a sudden attack of catatonia in even the most dedicated professional developer.

It was thus with a start that I received an instant missive:

Frisco: squaaak

Whenever he surfaces from his 60-hour a week job for a daytime Squaaak like this, I get an image of a large Pteradon perched atop the spire of a cathedral on a nice Sunday morning deep in Evangelical Christian country, sunning its long, leathery wings with an evil glint in its nictating membranes as the terrified parishioners inside fall suddenly silent.

Now Frisco often enjoys squaaaking out the refrain of whatever track my Google Talk window announces that I am listening to. However, today he was flummoxed:

Frisco: The intro to KungFF is not easy to squaak

me: yes, bit fast

scat squaaking is a tricky art, and there are some numbers that may prove too challenging

Now an ordinary person might miss the opportunity here, but Frisco is no ordinary person:

Frisco: like e^pi

Which of course is a signal to down tools and engage:

me: now you're being irrational

Frisco: point taken

...and moved one point to the left (/ 10)

me: So you're a bitshifter

I'll take your point completely and render you uncountably integral

Frisco: Eigen take this no more.

me: Are you series?

I can't differentiate

Frisco: I am series. I'd lie of hunger if I didn't Fib and Gnocci.

me: I'll pour you a monotonic at once.

That is, unless you have a sawtooth?

Though they're usually linked to periods...

Frisco: I div my top hat

me: You'll expose your curl(s)

Frisco: shave an exponent or two and you'll not know the diff

much smoother, for starters

although random spikes can make operating less pleasant

Is a hairy integral?

me: There's no value in being mean

But I regress.

I think you'll only be series in time anyway

And you'll never be discrete

Frisco: being a standard deviant myself, it's hard to comment

me: You're certainly not normal.

Frisco: a stat testicular outlier, if ever there was 2

me: I knew there was a downside

Frisco: infinitely

being hetero, skedadillity is sure

certain

me: I'm surprised you can even function

Frisco: barely

I'm a surd anyway

afk coffee...

me: and a discriminant

afk urinal

(Some minutes later)

Frisco: no further irrational roots for this expressive thread?

me: I think it may be (NP) complete.

Ah, the noble sciences... How nice it is that I recall with such fondness only the good bits, and forget the violent shafting I sometimes received at the hands of things like Real Analysis, Solid State Physics and good old General Relativity.

Revitalised, I was then able to resume coding. And to think some companies block chat clients in a misguided attempt to prevent such gems. To the submersible, Frisco. First we take Manhattan.